Review: The Girl I Used to Be

The Girl I Used to Be by Mary Torjussen
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

A wonderful, psychological thriller that will make you wonder what you would do if this happened to you!!!

I am a big fan of Mary Torjussen’s last book Gone Without a Trace. As a psychologist, I always find books that deal with the character’s mindset effectively to be so compelling, and this is an area Mary really excels in as an author. This book was one I read in two days (which, for someone who works full-time and has a dissertation to write is quite an endorsement). The steady building of suspense in this book had the reader feeling slightly off-kilter along with the protagonist—and that is what made it so hard to put down! I found myself skipping my lunch break to read a bit more, and turning down plans for drinks after work because I just had to know what would happen next!

Plot

Gemma owns her own real estate business and loves her career. She has a wonderful husband and a beautiful son, but she also has some darkness in her past. Though Gemma loves her husband and they agreed for him to stay home with their young son while she builds her business, she finds herself occasionally resenting the time he gets with their son. But Gemma would never do anything to jeopardize the family she loves so much.

Until one day, Gemma is out with a client for dinner, and the next thing she knows she wakes up alone in her hotel room with no memory of the night and a blistering hangover… Gemma would never cheat on her husband, but she can’t seem to remember the events of the evening. Sure, she used to be a heavy drinker, but that is in her past, isn’t it?

As Gemma tries to shake off the sense of unease she had that fateful night, she begins getting reminders in the mail. First, she receives a receipt from that night. But why would the hotel mail her a copy of her receipt? Then, she gets a photo of her kissing someone who is not her husband in the hotel. As Gemma’s world begins to unravel, and the reminders get increasingly threatening, Gemma wonders if she will ever remember what happened that night, and if she does, will it be too late to save her marriage??

Reflection

Wow, I loved this book! Though I loved Mary’s first book, there is never a guarantee that the second one will live up to the first. In fact, often it is hard for an author to write a book that lives up to what was loved about the first book—but Mary Torjussen has done it! This book was very different in terms of the plot and characters from her first book, but the writing elements I loved were still there.

The slow but steady build in suspense was masterful. At the beginning, this could have just been a book about the struggles of work and marriage. And yet, there was always the sense of unease. That sense built throughout the book until the plot burst onto the page. I found myself at about 35% in shock and horror about what was happening. I couldn’t imagine being in Gemma’s spot! What would I do??? And the memory gap was masterful. The notion throughout the book that you can almost grasp the memory, but it escapes you—that is something we can all understand, and it really added to the suspense.

I loved Gemma. She was damaged yet strong. Shockingly strong, in fact. In so many of these psychological thrillers, the protagonist is such a mess, but Gemma was not that way. And for that reason, it was easy to put yourself in her place. To imagine what would happen if you were forced to keep a secret from those you love most, in part because you’re not entirely sure about what the secret is!

I want to thank the author Mary Torjussen for facilitating this Advanced Reader Copy for review. I also want to thank Berkley and NetGalley for allowing me to review this book honestly and fairly. I actually kept my pre-order active because I know I'll want a physical copy of the book to have for use with my reading circles!

Pre-order yours here: https://www.amazon.com/Girl-I-Used-Be...

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